I haven't written a blog in a long time (for me, anyway). Partially because Blogger hasn't worked until now for whatever reason. But maybe also because I don't really have anything new to blog about. I don't know what to say.
I'm happy, happier than I've been in a while. Today, I went to church, watched an awesome football game with my Dad, did (a minimal amount of) homework, read a great book and went on a 3.4 mile run with my Mom (and I actually ran almost all of it). I'm especially proud of myself for running, because it's made a heck of a difference in my life. Not only is my body becoming more fit (I'm FINALLY losing some baby fat! :P), but my mind and heart are as well. And I'm making healthier choices about what I eat, what I think about, what I end up doing. I haven't ever felt this content with myself.
If you were to make one of those pros vs. cons tables of my life at this point, I think the pros would definitely extend much further than the cons would. Actuarial exams and exams in general are definitely a con, since they're a pain in the patootie. I thought that being single would be a con, and I guess it is, since it's always nice to have a boyfriend...but at the same time, maybe it's best that I'm doing this on my own. And at this point in my life, I think it's more important for me to figure myself out than for me to have a boy hanging around. I know that God will find me someone awesome if I just have faith and patience.
As for the pros? I think the list is too long to put here. To sum it up, I'll say that I've got God, the best family ever, awesome friends (new and old), better health, better breathing (according to the doctor, anyway), interesting classes and a whole lot of other amazing things. Almost all of my days are great overall, and if I end up adding even a little sunshine to someone else's day, my day becomes even better. It must be true, what the Beatles say about how the love you make equals the love you take, 'cause I'm trying hard to express how much I love the people in my life, and I can feel that love being given back to me. I'm enjoying it.
If you'd told me that I was going to feel this way about a month ago, I would've laughed. I would never have dreamed I could run/walk 10.2 miles, or run 3.4 miles. I definitely never thought my self-esteem would improve this quickly. (Albeit I am not cocky, and I never will be.) I wouldn't even say I've become self-confident, just that I'm becoming more secure with who I am, for better or worse.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Sunday, August 15, 2010
'Cause everything's so wrong and I don't belong living in your precious memory
One night stands or long term relationship?
Long term. I would never ever ever have a one night stand.
If you found out that you were going to be a parent, what would you do?
I don't know how that would be possible...but I would definitely freak out first; I am sooo not ready for that kind of commitment. I know I would definitely want to keep the kid though, and I think I could probably take care of it.
What does your most recent text message say?
I'm not even going to check. This question is pointless.
What do you miss most about the past?
Some friends who I've lost touch with.
Do you like country music?
I like certain country artists. I enjoy Keith Urban, Carrie Underwood, Rascal Flatts, Taylor Swift, Lady Antebellum and maybe a few others.
Are you cocky?
No. Not at all...
Are you currently frustrated with a boy/girl?
Sort of.
Are you listening to music right now?
Yep! :)
Is any part of you sad at all?
I'm pretty depressed, actually.
Have you ever kissed the last person you texted?
On the cheek.
Could you go the rest of your life without doing any drugs?
Of course :) Unless prescription drugs are included here, but I don't think they are.
What would be the first thing you would do with 100,000 dollars?
Hm...I would donate at least half of it. I'd probably give a good amount to my family and a few other people who actually deserve it. And then I'd get the heck out of here.
You win backstage passes to meet the Jonas Brothers, you?
Sell them.
Can you commit to one person?
Yep.
Are you a mean person?
Not at all, although I tend to flip out on people who annoy me enough.
Is it more common for you to follow your heart or your mind?
Lately, I've followed my heart, even though I'm pretty sure it's going to lead me to misery.
Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?
Nope.
How bad are heartbreaks?
I'm pretty sure they're the worst possible thing that someone can go through for a time, but they're not lethal. Things heal themselves naturally over time.
Could you go the rest of your life without drinking?
Definitely. I don't think I want to though.
Ever given your ALL to someone who walked away?
Yep.
Do you miss your past?
Sometimes.
Have you ever felt like you weren’t good enough?
All the time.
The boy/girl you truly care about needs you at 3 AM, would you go?
Obviously. I think I would go for just about anyone at 3 a.m., because if someone contacts me at that hour, it must be really urgent.
Name something you dislike about the day you're having?
I'm depressed and it's not fun. I feel like things just aren't fair.
Is your room ever clean?
Yep. This question seems to pop up in every survey.
Do you like being around a large group of friends, or a best friend?
A best friend. I get shy around large groups of people.
Is there a night you would like to put on repeat, and live it forever?
Not really. It seems a little boring to live that night over and over for the rest of your life.
Are you hard to please?
No.
Who were you with the last time you went to the movie theater?
My Mom and Kelly :)
How is your hair right now?
Um, it's okay...
Do you have any bruises on you?
I do. I get bruises all the time.
Are you ticklish?
I am. It's really bad haha.
What song did you hear last?
"A Thousand Miles" by Vanessa Carlton. Whatever happened to her?
How often do you listen to music?
Often.
Do you trust all your friends?
Noooooooo. This is sad.
When you say you don't care, do you mean it?
Um, sometimes. It really is 50/50 for me. It depends a lot on the situation at hand.
If you could go back 8 months and change something would you?
Never.
Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
I don't think so at all. I feel like no one cares about me anymore.
Do you listen to music when you're down?
Sometimes.
This time last year, can you remember who you liked?
Yep!
What do you bite on more, your tongue, lip, or nails?
My lip.
Did you kiss or hug anyone today?
Yeah, I gave my parents and Kelly a hug.
Do you believe that if you want something bad enough, you'll get it?
Nope. It's not enough just to want. You need to work hard and prove yourself for whatever you're after...and even then sometimes things don't work out.
What do you think of guys who have girlfriends but let other girls wear their hoodies?
I guess I'm indifferent to them, unless a guy like that happens to be my boyfriend, in which case I wouldn't like it.
Have you ever liked someone that was in a relationship?
Yeah.
If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
I think so.
How's your life lately?
I can't believe I'm saying this, but I can't wait to get back to school and be buried in math classes.
What was on your mind mostly today?
If you only knew.
Who was your last text from?
My Mom.
Do you know anyone who would just drop everything to come see you?
I think Kelly or my parents would, and I think that's about it.
Do you believe that any of your exes think about you?
Ummm I'm not sure. One of them might, and I haven't talked to the other one in a couple years, so I'm really not sure what goes through his mind anymore.
How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking?
Too much...way too much.
Honestly, are you normally a happy person?
Yeah. I'm trying so hard to be that person.
Do you straighten your hair before bed?
No. That doesn't make any sense.
Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
Um, I tell a lot of things to my Dad, but I don't think I tell him absolutely everything...so I'm not sure.
What's something you really want right now, be honest?
Oh, I gotta get outta here...
Have you ever lived with your girlfriend/boyfriend?
I don't have a boyfriend, and even if I did, I'm pretty sure I couldn't afford it and my parents wouldn't allow it.
Who do you currently have a crush on?
IAPjfap9f98afu98af.
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
My Mom, I think.
Will you be in a relationship in the next couple months?
Probably not. Hopefully, but probably not.
Long term. I would never ever ever have a one night stand.
If you found out that you were going to be a parent, what would you do?
I don't know how that would be possible...but I would definitely freak out first; I am sooo not ready for that kind of commitment. I know I would definitely want to keep the kid though, and I think I could probably take care of it.
What does your most recent text message say?
I'm not even going to check. This question is pointless.
What do you miss most about the past?
Some friends who I've lost touch with.
Do you like country music?
I like certain country artists. I enjoy Keith Urban, Carrie Underwood, Rascal Flatts, Taylor Swift, Lady Antebellum and maybe a few others.
Are you cocky?
No. Not at all...
Are you currently frustrated with a boy/girl?
Sort of.
Are you listening to music right now?
Yep! :)
Is any part of you sad at all?
I'm pretty depressed, actually.
Have you ever kissed the last person you texted?
On the cheek.
Could you go the rest of your life without doing any drugs?
Of course :) Unless prescription drugs are included here, but I don't think they are.
What would be the first thing you would do with 100,000 dollars?
Hm...I would donate at least half of it. I'd probably give a good amount to my family and a few other people who actually deserve it. And then I'd get the heck out of here.
You win backstage passes to meet the Jonas Brothers, you?
Sell them.
Can you commit to one person?
Yep.
Are you a mean person?
Not at all, although I tend to flip out on people who annoy me enough.
Is it more common for you to follow your heart or your mind?
Lately, I've followed my heart, even though I'm pretty sure it's going to lead me to misery.
Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?
Nope.
How bad are heartbreaks?
I'm pretty sure they're the worst possible thing that someone can go through for a time, but they're not lethal. Things heal themselves naturally over time.
Could you go the rest of your life without drinking?
Definitely. I don't think I want to though.
Ever given your ALL to someone who walked away?
Yep.
Do you miss your past?
Sometimes.
Have you ever felt like you weren’t good enough?
All the time.
The boy/girl you truly care about needs you at 3 AM, would you go?
Obviously. I think I would go for just about anyone at 3 a.m., because if someone contacts me at that hour, it must be really urgent.
Name something you dislike about the day you're having?
I'm depressed and it's not fun. I feel like things just aren't fair.
Is your room ever clean?
Yep. This question seems to pop up in every survey.
Do you like being around a large group of friends, or a best friend?
A best friend. I get shy around large groups of people.
Is there a night you would like to put on repeat, and live it forever?
Not really. It seems a little boring to live that night over and over for the rest of your life.
Are you hard to please?
No.
Who were you with the last time you went to the movie theater?
My Mom and Kelly :)
How is your hair right now?
Um, it's okay...
Do you have any bruises on you?
I do. I get bruises all the time.
Are you ticklish?
I am. It's really bad haha.
What song did you hear last?
"A Thousand Miles" by Vanessa Carlton. Whatever happened to her?
How often do you listen to music?
Often.
Do you trust all your friends?
Noooooooo. This is sad.
When you say you don't care, do you mean it?
Um, sometimes. It really is 50/50 for me. It depends a lot on the situation at hand.
If you could go back 8 months and change something would you?
Never.
Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
I don't think so at all. I feel like no one cares about me anymore.
Do you listen to music when you're down?
Sometimes.
This time last year, can you remember who you liked?
Yep!
What do you bite on more, your tongue, lip, or nails?
My lip.
Did you kiss or hug anyone today?
Yeah, I gave my parents and Kelly a hug.
Do you believe that if you want something bad enough, you'll get it?
Nope. It's not enough just to want. You need to work hard and prove yourself for whatever you're after...and even then sometimes things don't work out.
What do you think of guys who have girlfriends but let other girls wear their hoodies?
I guess I'm indifferent to them, unless a guy like that happens to be my boyfriend, in which case I wouldn't like it.
Have you ever liked someone that was in a relationship?
Yeah.
If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
I think so.
How's your life lately?
I can't believe I'm saying this, but I can't wait to get back to school and be buried in math classes.
What was on your mind mostly today?
If you only knew.
Who was your last text from?
My Mom.
Do you know anyone who would just drop everything to come see you?
I think Kelly or my parents would, and I think that's about it.
Do you believe that any of your exes think about you?
Ummm I'm not sure. One of them might, and I haven't talked to the other one in a couple years, so I'm really not sure what goes through his mind anymore.
How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking?
Too much...way too much.
Honestly, are you normally a happy person?
Yeah. I'm trying so hard to be that person.
Do you straighten your hair before bed?
No. That doesn't make any sense.
Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
Um, I tell a lot of things to my Dad, but I don't think I tell him absolutely everything...so I'm not sure.
What's something you really want right now, be honest?
Oh, I gotta get outta here...
Have you ever lived with your girlfriend/boyfriend?
I don't have a boyfriend, and even if I did, I'm pretty sure I couldn't afford it and my parents wouldn't allow it.
Who do you currently have a crush on?
IAPjfap9f98afu98af.
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
My Mom, I think.
Will you be in a relationship in the next couple months?
Probably not. Hopefully, but probably not.
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